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From ZeiTGeiST
ASIA: January
2011 Edition |
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Khandu The Driver |
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 Khanduism
24
Freedom of the press
Once is enough to lose your virginity |
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“When are you planning to
restructure our salaries?”
I was completely beaten by this googly
from Khandu as soon as he had put the
ignition key in the socket and started the
car. The company had been having
difficulty managing its cash flows but
had, nevertheless, granted suitable pay
increases on the eve of Diwali.
“Why, we just increased the salaries on
Diwali? Did you not get any increase?”
“I did get an increase of 20%. But, it is
not the increase I am talking about. I am
talking about the restructuring of the
staff salaries.”
I did not quite understand. What was the
restructuring he was talking about? What
was the occasion for such restructuring?
There had been no acquisition or merger as
far as the magazine was concerned.
Although the magazine had been making
steady progress, there had been no major
break through on advertising which is the
bread and butter of the media business.
Seeing my silence, Khandu pressed his
point once again.
“Sir, I am talking about taking the
magazine to the next higher level by
adopting some of the new practices that
have emerged and re-motivating the staff
by restructuring their wages.”
I was getting irritated. I told him firmly
that the company was paying as per
industry norms and that there was going to
be no restructuring in the near future.
Khandu was quite upset and retorted
angrily,
 “Industry
norms? What norms are you talking about,
sir? Barkha Dutt's driver is getting twice
my salary, the same with Vir Sanghvi's
driver and Prabhu Chawala's driver is
getting two and a half times as much.
Suhail Seth's driver is getting three
times my salary.”
“But, their cases are different, you
know,” I reacted almost spontaneously
without thinking, but Khandu was quick to
pick up the point
“That's exactly what I am saying. What I
am suggesting is that our company should
learn from their experiences and enter
into some understanding with some
corporate lobbyists to ensure a regular
flow of advertisements. There will be no
shortage of revenue then and our staff
will work with redoubled vigor once their
salaries are restructured, taking the
magazine to the next higher level.”
“But our magazine is different, you know,
and we do not encourage such
understandings. Our editorial content is
driven purely by public interest.” I said
instantly without even bothering to think
about what Khandu had said. But Khandu was
not letting it go.
“But, sir, you can always enter into some
temporary arrangements and once you have
adequate revenue back-up and increased
circulation, you can always revert back to
your editorial independence and what you
call public interest.”
This time I thought for a while but shook
my head once again,
“No way, Khandu. Virginity, once lost,
cannot be regained.”
Khandu was equally adamant. He persisted
“The government magazines contain the best
editorial content, 100% in the public
interest. But no one reads them and they
do not get any advertisements except from
the government.”
I was really angry this time.
“I think the best thing for you would be
to join Prabhu Chawla or Vir Sanghvi or
Barkha Dutt or Suhail Seth.”
“No way, sir.”This time, Khandu was quick
to respond, “in fact Barkha Dutt's driver
was asking me if there was a vacancy for
him in ZeiTGeiST ASIA. He said he would be
happier working with a smaller
organization with a cleaner image even on
a somewhat lower salary.”
“So, what are you cribbing about? You
cannot have the best of both worlds.”
Khandu was totally deflated by now. He was
down cast when he finally managed to say:
“ For a while, I thought we could. I was
only suggesting a short-term arrangement.
But I guess you are right about that
virginity thing,” he said, letting out a
big sigh. ·
Gaurav Lakhanpal is an architect
specialising in theme architecture and can
be contacted on sglakhanpal@gmail.com |
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